We did it! We made it to our first real monster-of-the-week episode of the season! And not only that, but we made it to the Halloween-themed monster-of-the-week episode, which really just means that it was even more fun than usual.
We start by meeting Stewart, a comic store employee in Ohio. He’s watching Shocker TV — which is full of callbacks to early episodes, including “Route 666” — while unboxing a new shipment of toys. And just moments after he steals a new Thundercats figurine — Panthro, for those of you that know — his boss, Sam, calls to tell him they got a one-star review on Yelp after Stewart yelled at a customer. Stewart tries to explain himself by saying, “He said I couldn’t beat up Superman!” But Sam’s not having it. She fires back with, “I have seen you get winded eating a taco.” And I instantly love Sam.
Once Stewart agrees to chill, he hangs up with Sam and locks up the store. He heads home with his new stolen toy and proceeds to call and yell at the pizza company for being late with his delivery. So his “chill” didn’t last very long. And apparently, his new toy does not appreciate his attitude, because Panthro comes to life and beats the crap out of Stewart.
Back at the bunker, Dean is holed up in his room eating pizza and watching Hell Hazers III: It Lives Again. (Hell Hazers II, if you remember, is the set that was haunted in season 2’s “Hollywood Babylon.” And much like they did in season 2, they play the trailer for the movie during the episode.) Sam knocks on his brother’s door, and yes, HE SHAVED. “It’s like a dolphin’s belly,” Dean says of Sam’s clean-shaven face. But more importantly, Sam has found a case: A killer toy. Sam shows Dean the video that Stewart posted explaining what happened and of course, Dean is IN. If there’s one thing that will make Dean pause a scary movie, it’s a killer toy. Also, this happened…
Dean: “You don’t even like scary movies.”
Sam: “Our life is a scary movie.”
He’s not wrong. (Also, this is not the first time Sam has expressed this sentiment. Love all the callbacks in this hour.)
The boys head to Ohio, where they pose as insurance workers — maybe their best outfits ever? — and head to the comic store, where they find their twins: Sam and Dirk. Sam is the young girl in a flannel shirt with soft luxurious features and delicate hair, according to Dean, and Dirk is, well, Dean’s twin. The two of them bond over a life-size figurine of Hatchet Man, the star of the All Saint’s Day films.
The female Sam points them to Stewart’s house, where he’s moved back in with his mom. There, Dean wears the world’s best glasses as they pull Stewart away from Fortnite and try to figure out what’s been going on. But really, all we learn is that Sam knows what MIRL means. (Meet in real life.) Stewart claims he made up the attack and asks the guys to leave, so the brothers camp out in front of the house and wait for Stewart’s mom to head out … and it’s a good thing they do, because a bleeding Stewart collapses out of the front door after he’s attacked by a flying chainsaw.
The brothers don’t find any hex bags in the house, only EMF. So they’re dealing with a ghost. They agree to split up: Sam will check out Stewart’s house and the store while Dean stays at the hospital with Stewart and Dean’s twin, Dirk.
At the store, Sam talks to Sam — this is not confusing or anything — about Stewart and finds out that Jordan, the man who owned the store, died recently. Jordan left the store to Sam and Dirk. So why not Stewart? Because Jordan had fired Stewart twice for stealing, and now Sam and Dirk rehired him. Just then, the life-size Hatchet Man figurine comes to life and attacks our Sam before locking both Sams in the store. (Next: Dean lives out a horror movie)